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A Mother's Lesson in Words

Monday, August 04, 2008

I'm posting this little tid-bit of my childhood as part of my Mama Monday celebration.

One of my earliest memories is of my mother teaching me to succeed. When I would say "I can't do it." after failing at a task, my mother would say very succinctly, "There is no such word as can't." I was too little at the time to rebut by informing her that I could simply say "can not" (or is it cannot?) and I would indeed be using real words instead of a conjunction. But that's not really the point. The lesson she was teaching me was that I can do anything I set my mind to and by saying "I can't" I am just making an excuse to fail.

While my mother was never one to hold back a swear word or two, she never let me say things like "I hate such and such" or "I'm gonna kill whatshisface". In fact the word hate was probably the biggest swear word in my house. I was not allowed to hate anything or anyone. Instead I had to get creative and expand my vocabulary at an early age in order to express my disgust of something. If I did accidently let a curse word drop I only really got in big trouble if I said it out of anger towards someone else. Even so, I didn't know the really bad swear words until I was an adult because my mother wasn't one for obligatory vulgarity.

When I was growing up hearing my mother correct my words was a giant nuisance. As an adult I find that I am teaching my daughter the same things; teaching her that she can do anything, teaching her not to hate - to be tolerant and accepting, teaching her not to express her emotions violently (even if we never really mean we're going to kill someone when we say we want to).

The more I thought about all of this it seemed to be about intent and the meanings behind our words, as we think of it metaphysical terms. The things we say can have a profound effect on our own energy, not to mention someone else's. Learning to express ourselves in less negative ways can only be beneficial to ourselves and everyone around us.

So, without even knowing it, my mother was teaching me a very important, magic(k)al lesson. I'm glad that, now that I am all grown up, I can appreciate the subtle lessons of my mother and pass them on to my own daughter.


Pic: Picasso's Mother and Child

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Jung and the Anti-bunny

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Carl Jung proposed a technique called Active Imagination which theorized that one could connect with the deeper subconscious through active daydreaming and fantasy. I believe this technique was only named by Jung. In my opinion it is exactly the same process employed by shamanic traditions throughout time and it is exactly the process being utilized by individuals who believe they have contact with mythological creatures like faeries, dragons, etc.

For many years I have carried around a certain amount of frustration when interacting with people who believe in the reality of myth and legend. I became exasperated and admittedly began to shut down every time. I realize I was placing judgment, but my brain simply couldn’t rationalize certain ideas as real and certainly not as useful. After studying a little of Jung’s ideas I have a new opinion. I’ve had an epiphany.

The main thesis of my recent epiphany is that the problem I have is not in the ideas of the mythical creatures themselves, but when people see them for reality instead of a route towards understanding their own subconscious.

The Active Imagination Technique is similar to daydreaming, but in an active way as the title suggests. This is where the dreamer takes a mindful role in the fantasy being explored in order to learn about themselves on a subconscious level. The state that the brain goes into during waking dreams is called the alpha state. This is the same state we go into when we’re driving, taking a shower, doing the dishes, or any other kind of “mindless” action. So, every time I hear the voice (referenced in the previous post) I am in alpha state which means my subconscious may be trying to tell me something. I’m not sure yet what I may be trying to tell myself, but I believe now that the voice is not outside of myself, but a part of my subconscious mind.

I think with this new understanding I can better deal with my frustrations and my own feelings of hypocrisy since I too am subject to my subconscious mind; my active imagination. I think I’ve found a way to rationalize and reconcile the abstract and the analytical halves of my personality that can not only help me better understand myself, but also others.

Hope this made some sense. What do you think about the theories presented here? Am I still robbing myself of the magic or have I found a way to embrace it without stepping past the bounds of what I know to be reality - and what I consider to be the domain of fluffy bunnies?

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Robbing Myself of Magic

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Raven Grimassi once told me to be careful not to “rob myself of the magic”. He had just signed some books for me and since I had waited until later in the day to visit his booth he was free to chat for a bit. I was on the Pagan Pride committee that year (the event he and his wife were attending as guest speakers) so we had already been introduced and quickly moved to topics of deeper interest. I was expressing my disenchantment and frustration when Raven, looking for all the world like Paul McCartney's love child without his moustache, said those words. I consider Raven to be an extremely well learned man whose books are meticulously researched and void of much of the fluffiness some authors embrace. So of course I took his words to heart, but to this day I'm still not sure how to put them into action.

I have experienced certain things that I badly want to believe were real and true. As time passes I rationalize my experiences until there is nothing left of them. Consequently experiencing these things again is rather difficult.

When I was a child I used to hear a voice. It was completely incoherent and I always felt that if I listened just a little harder I might be able to make out the words. This scared the crap out of me as a kid and eventually the voice stopped. I think I might have willed it to stop.

When I hit about 19 or so the voice began to return and 11 years later there are times when I still hear it. Am I crazy? Maybe. I’ve thought about Schizophrenia, but that doesn’t usually hit someone until their early twenties. Because this has been ongoing since early childhood I have ruled that out. Could this be some inner voice? Is it my intuition? My conscience? The one constant is that the voice always comes along when I am doing something repetitive or not requiring concentration – when my brain is in an alpha state.

If I was listening to someone else tell this story I would be convinced they were crazy and I expect nothing less from anyone who is reading this right now. I am very scientifically minded. I believe in reason and I strive to understand why things are and how they work. I’m also very creatively minded. I’m an artist and creating is like instinct for me. So I suppose there is sort of an inner struggle going on. One part of me thinks there must be rational explanations for everything while the other is not opposed to more abstract ideas.

I’ve considered that perhaps I’m clairaudient but I also think mediums are most often frauds. Maybe famous psychics have ruined it for me. John Edward, Sylvia Browne, Chris Fleming, etc. have really just left a bad taste in my mouth about psychics and mediumship in general. I am certainly not going to say I have an ability that I have never been able to believe in others. I have had numerous readings and not one of them has ever been more than a cold reading or a general interpretation of cards laid out on a table. I believe everyone could potentially have psychic ability, I just haven’t proven that yet.

On the topic of channeling, I have thought that maybe if we’re all Goddess than it isn’t too crazy to think she could speak to us or through us. Why is it people who channel pick things like Arch Angels, aliens, star clusters, famous dead folks, etc? I just can’t swallow the whole concept. But I wish I could.

I want to believe. Who doesn't? Isn't that desire to believe what gives psychic charlatains their power in the first place? I’m willing to suspend all sorts of belief but I need something concrete, something that can be evaluated and then revealed to be true. Maybe I need to stop putting reigns on everything before the magic is lost to me forever.

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